Until we Tequila again...

At the risk of sounding totally 'Taylor Swift' cliché, or have you close my blog in disgust, simultaneously reaching for a bucket .... I have been pondering as of late, the best ways to, in the words of none other then myself "move the eff on" when something bloody s.h.i.t happens! As a music lover (or self confessed addict) I've listened to my ol' fave Missy Higgins plead with me over and over to remember that we were "the special two", just as that unknown high pitched voice from 'Frozen' has bellowed at me to just bloody "let it go..... Let it go"..... But guys, what really is the best way to ensure the personified 'cold' .... 'never bothers us again anyway'... And how is it that we can take sadness and pain in whatever it is we may be going though, and turn it into something really god damned good!?

MY 3 QUITE FREAKING GENIUS WAYS TO DEAL

Now guys, I'm definitely no Nelson Mandela, I'm not all-knowing like Ghandi - and for heavens sake I probably won't ever be quoted on a 'daily inspo' page either (dammit), but recent (highly bloody profound💆) experience and observation has led me to come up with three, quite freaking genius ways to deal with heart ache.....When, holla at me ladies... all we really want to do is eat chocolate (and probably some cookie dough whilst were at it) and indulge in an extremely depressing and far fetched love story such as The Notebook.....

1. YOUR FRIENDS ARE THE KEY!!

We have all drowned ourselves in self pity before - said "why me" as we felt like the only people in the entire world feeling that little bit helpless.... Well I say get the hell up! As females (males included) of the 90s we all watched Carrie Bradshaw and co. deal with break ups the only way they knew how .... With their "family" of four friends.... Genius! I can definitely say, the best thing a friend of mine did for me, during what may have been the worst time of my entire life, was put on my shoes and socks (despite their known despise of feet...) and drag me out of my house - literally! Although your friends may never truly understand the depth of the hurt that your feeling, they do however understand how to make you 'LOL', 'LMAO' and hopefully if their bloody hilarious like mine 'ROFL' ... So ladies and gents, my advice is to call your besties, homies, peoples, crew (whatever you call it)... Even if you're nothing more then a blabbering mess! Remember your friends are the family YOU choose.... Hence, I can ensure that their advice (even if let's be honest it's totally shocking) will ease the pain just that little bit, whilst reminding you that you ain't ever going to be alone!

2. PERSPECTIVE

I know what your thinking "good one Dom" - the old perspective card! I agree, the word has indeed lost the vitality it once had, as people like myself... (Having it tattooed on my wrist: Exhibit 1 left) play with its meaning in quotes and lezbehonest rather gut wrenching clichés... But seriously guys, whether it be - a breakup - a loss of friendship - a death The one thing that we all MUST maintain (easier said then done, god knows, I know) is the ability to look past the pain and hurt, in order to seek clarity which is ultimately the "bigger picture"... Just last Sunday, someone pretty important to me asked if what I was 'going though' would be even slightly relevant or significant in "five or six years time"..? Although I would have loved to answer yes (merely for dramatic effect) .. Ultimately much to my disdain at the time, my answer was a bit fat no. Hence, thus, therefor, overall - whatever joining word your English teacher preferred, next time you feel like you'd just "rather die" (insert pained 16 year old girls voice) take a second to remember what is truly important in life, and understand that in 10 years time you won't remember 'that horrible day your boyfriend broke up with you', instead you'll be thanking his good for nothing ass, for helping you get off YOUR ass and look at the more pivotal parts of yourself and more importantly your life.

3. DONT BURY THE HURT + DRINK GOOD COFFEE

I think the worst thing to do with pain - is pretend its not there, that also goes for memories! Just the other day, ( I kid you not) a good friend and I were having a serious (looking back quite hilarious - because it was so serious) discussion on the different body parts we would 'chop off' in order to basically have the pain of old memories 'erased'... We listened to the new 5 seconds of summer song 'Amnesia' (give it a listen guys.. Pretty bloody great) in admiration wishing we too caught that rather horrible disease (yes, a little ... Or a lot dramatised I know)... In looking back, I realise that to ignore what was, and essentially forget the pain - would totally and utterly defeat the purpose of the particular experience all together .... (Although yes, it would be far easier). Inevitably, at times we would all prefer to simply 'forget' about the cause of the pain. Burying it deep, deep down inside (I'll always be in awe of how men do this so easily!- Give me an amen ladies) in my opinion means we can never actually 'move on' and truly 'feel better'. If we can't enjoy a quality cup of coffee, whilst one day in the future, smiling at those memories many of us would give a 'toe or a finger to forget' ... whats the point? It is what gives us texture and meaning to our individuality. Soooo, my friends if you've managed to keep down your food after all of that (CONGRATS) I'd like to pass on one more little gem in which was written by the beautiful Alexa Chung... Chung writes In her own book that,

"You have to suffer heartbreak so you know what to tell your daughter when she has her heart broken... And one day I'm going to have a daughter and I'll know what to say to her, I'll say, nobody goes through life without having their heart broken.... And one day you will wake up and it will be ok"

.... I can't ducking (good old auto correct ;)) wait for that day to come. Like Alexa (here I am pretending that we have anything in common), I agree that if you deal with pain in the right way, and with the right attitude; you will eventually wake up - and my god it WILL be ok! My reality says, this may take weeks, months or hell even years. But when that day arrives... you have all the right in the world to pour yourself a shot of Tequila (or two.. or three... Why not even four?) and celebrate for yourself and with yourself displaying that signature victory dance, thrusting your hands together for a hearty freaking round of applause. Until then my pretty little people, all you can do is keep breathing (and take my god sent advice)... Remember in the words of a quote I found of good ol' insta

"Everything will be ok in the end, if it's not ok, it's not the end"

Xoxoxoxoxo